It’s always good to know you have something to talk to even if it’s
just a blog. Well, I assume writing this way that people who are meant to
be pin pointed with be acknowledged towards it, seriously people I
just don't want any rude business, I just need to bore out, and the
fact is there is no one left to talk to it but the public.
I have always been the loser type. I am quite extrovert at times,
yet I miss the mark. I'm quite potential at times, yet I miss the mark. Call it
my bad fortune I won’t mind but the fact is I couldn't have done this littlest
effort to come up and write but because all these things that make me feel that
my failure is born more everyday forces me too.
My first disgrace
OK. So how many of you faced this situation?
When you learn something at the cost of the other and you
get involved so much that it becomes your life and
You can't live it, like the day you have got to have your marriage
and someone tells you the bride has suddenly changed her mind? Why would she?
Such questions have answers, but the situation or the position of them makes
them look like unresponsive.
And even you don't know why the bride left, would you still have
it all to leave the marriage in the middle of it and face evil sarcasms
thereafter. Seems like you can. But would you again appear to marriage, the
next year forgetting everything? (Forgetting everything when you later come to know it was always
you whom she felt uncomfortable with?). Things change for you but the society won't be ready to admit
it. For it, it will work like nothing happened even if you were dead. They
actually mean business from you and as long as you can give it, you survive.
That's exactly what happened to me 2-3 years back. Basketball was
everything for me but I couldn't play it. They said we have some age concerns.
Believe it or not 2years I went to play, we never won; this year
I didn't and we win. My anger and sorrow wasn't just gone
until the society bombarded with all of the insults, sarcasms that made it even
worse. And they still expect me to play next year like nothing
happened. How on the earth could I?
My mistake, I didn't play and they still make fun of
me whatsoever. Today, among few things deep in my life, Basketball has its
own complications yet to be sorted out.
My second disgrace
This has been something to me all these years that whenever I'm up
for something big, to show the world the potential fire that rests within
me, apparently that's always when the fire won't light up and that
multiple attempts of tasting failure, it tears your skin from inside to the
core and there will come a moment in your life when you'd stand up with head
held high, straight, thumbs in wrist and would promise yourself "no more embarrassments, do nothing
more than what layman do. "
Maybe I'd be so much perfect at almost anything but there hasn't
been a day in my life when I could have had that happiness of winning something
big, that happiness when you outshine others, there's a spark in your eyes and
you deliberately show yourself the master, though I always spectated it
from the first row of the hall of my mind but I never, until now, never
had a chance to it. And perhaps I'll have my chance the next time but pardon
me, by then failure would have had made me a corpse & corpses don't do
anything better than to scare!
My third disgrace
Correct me if I am wrong when I say I'm a little under confident.
And what better than ACTING would suit me overcome my-this-type-of-attitude.
Umm, well, so, I guess couldn't talk about it. Wounds are new; it'd take time
to get over them. But I assure you it was like that feeling when you are given
the 3rd position, suddenly given the 1st and you look at others who are stable
at their positions and smirk and suddenly you are nowhere and you again look
and at them and say, “at least they have something"
All I know is that all such incidences in life make a man
perceive himself to be unworthy where actually he is not and so
it has be to the same way with me. You might wonder why were you reading
it? I don't know, I just wanted to talk and so I was. Nevertheless, I
bored my heart out and now from tomorrow, I'll wait for another hit and run
that life would give me.And so I'd live with embarrassment and agony
and this will be the only way to let it out. Well not everything has a lesson
or maybe it had, you just didn’t see it, did you? PEACE PEOPLE. SEE YOU SOON.
